Patchworks and Metaphors

A former boyfriend loved metaphors.  He used them dramatically and unironically.  I loved that he loved them, that he shared my passion for words and language.  I too love metaphors - little truth nuggets.  They tend to break down, though;  metaphors and analogies.  They have a nasty habit of driving you somewhere and dropping you off to either get caught up in distracting scenery or tossing you away from points being made.  What?

I had a nasty habit of tearing down his metaphors.  That's right.  Even though it was a quality of his that I admired, and even though I love that metaphors, by nature, are imperfect.  I couldn't help myself.  It's easier to tear down than build up, and it's easier to find faults than accept hard truths - If you lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas.  Well yes, but what if there aren't fleas?  Or what if you're covered head to toe in body armour?

Let it be.

I miss his metaphors.  (Also, the way he always interchanged "fajitas" with "tacos".) 

**

It's hard to be sarcastic with a) children, b) non-native speakers, and c) really genuine/non-sarcastic people.

Sometimes I wonder how non-sarcastic people deal with it - with life - without being shielded by some excellently timed ironic humor.  I wonder this because I'm a forgetful person.  I forget constantly and completely how different we all are.

“Don’t use words too big for the subject. Don’t say ‘infinitely’ when you mean ‘very’; otherwise you'll have no word left when you want to talk about something really infinite.” – C. S. Lewis    

For writing, I think this is terrific advice.  But what about for living?  What if each sunset you see makes your head spin with the knowledge that this is the bestsunsettohaveevergracedtheland?  Does that make the next, utterly perfect sunset less significant?  Is it a matter of living in the moment vs. living with a grander perspective? 

I always thought it was obnoxious when people referred to things as "the best ever" or "the best ___ in the world."  Really?  Did these phrases seep into our vocabulary to perpetuate our cultural obsession with everything instantly awesome all the time always?  But then I started saying it.  "This is the best song ever."  Initially I didn't mean it, which I hate.  Insincerity.  But then I really started feeling it.  It really was the best burger I'd ever had.  Was the language shaping my emotion or had my emotions always been there but cowering?  I often let them cower.  Nobody really likes intense people. Not on a daily basis.  Who wants to think and feel and be and touch and taste and who am I where am I what is this wallpaper what's the deal with alligators have you thought about that lately huh all the time.

It gets complicated though. Because when you clump time together and stop looking at it linearly (why would anyone do that?), you are creating contradictions every time you make flippant value observations.  

 Perspicacity is one of my favorite words.

**

I teach a 7-year-old boy called Jisu.  Everything is dramatic to a 7-year-old.  I must play this game at this moment or my world will be destroyed.  Cake? Cookies? Life is so perfectly wonderful and I may never get to eat these again so I better make the most of this moment. Bedtime?  When I'm such a big boy and there's light in the hallway and I don't feel tired at all, really I don't.

He has extremely limited English and no clue as to what I'm saying half the time.  But he stares and squidges his eyes and nods his head and tries really hard to repeat what I'm saying when he thinks that's what I want.

People who try.  That's a gift.  I should probably only ever teach P.E. or drama where I can give grades based on effort.

When he does understand what I'm saying, I watch his eyes light up and I smile at his excitement over our connection.  Our body language and laughter are no match for our connection through words.  Words are the aim.  He still doesn't understand when I ask "How are you?" and I have to encourage him with "Are you happy?" (big smile) "Or sad?" (trace a fake tear).

We worked on a craft project today and he decorated the front and decided to write some words.

"Spelling? English?"

"What do you want to spell?"

"Spelling?"

I nod.  "What do you want to spell?"  I point to the desk.  "Desk?"

"Spelling...English."

I don't know how long it took before I realized he wanted me to spell English.  Too long for a college graduate.

We play a lot of games, Jisu and I, and he has appropriate dances for winning, losing, and the shades between (almost winning, watching me almost win, etc.)  When he does his victory dance, throwing his head back, balling his fists, and gleefully waving his arms...my heart bursts.  Really.  It explodes and flies all over the room in a mass of pulsating red weirdness.  I don't know how I can have so much love for a kid who I barely know and can't talk to.  I don't know how mothers and fathers can daily walk around with an even more extreme love hanging onto their limbs, tugging at their hearts.  What a weight.

Do I really love him so intensely?  Is it another sunset?  Will I stop noticing them?  I already have, sometimes.

**

My brother is an atheist.  I am not.  He is beautiful.

We recently had a conversation about the beginning of the world.  I said that a person who believes that the earth was put together by insanely random chance is still believing something quite astonishing.  He said any atheist worth his salt would agree with that statement.

Would they?


**

I am highly unashamed of my love for Taylor Swift.  I don't care that she's very high school or that her music resonates with millions of people so it must be selling something or cheap or too poppy.
 
"I think it's strange that you think I'm funny cause he never did."

It's the simplest of lines, but it's so so so good.  (Like overused metaphors that you take for granted. ) Dating someone who doesn't get your humor is dating someone who doesn't get you.  I wonder if sarcastic and non-sarcastic coupling is a combination that shouldn't happen.  Like smokers and non-smokers.  And vegans and cowboys. And...?