Adaptibility, the good, the bad, and the pretty

Throughout high school, my class was told -- as every class should be -- that we were bright, capable, full of potential, and the future was not simply in our hands; it was us.  We were also told that we were special because we had grown up overseas and had a sense of the changing world, of cultural interactions, of adaptability.  Highly adaptable, they told us.  Highly adaptable from the moving, the transitioning, the juggling of culture and language and family and streams of friends passing through. 

I've been thinking about adaptability lately, or rather, I've been thinking about what it often comes hand-in-hand with -- getting used to situations.

"Man is a creature who can get used to anything, and I believe that is the very best way of defining him."

Dostoevsky would have our adaptability define us -- not just TCKs, but everyone -- and I think few would argue that it isn't an essential part of our nature.

Pauline Chen, a surgeon, lends an interesting perspective, describing the first time she made an incision on human flesh:

Like doctors-in-training before and after me, I wrapped my fingers around the handle in a kind of death grip and winced as the belly of the blade touched the patient’s body. And as much as I’d like not to admit it, my hand shook, so great was my fear of pushing too hard and slicing too deep.   

She says this is a common initial reaction for surgeons, but that after years of practice, "cutting began to feel second nature to me, the scalpel merely an extension of my fingers."

It's a slightly disturbing idea, isn't it: Getting used to cutting live human skin.  The cringe aspect was purposeful, as she continues her article with a discussion of why the public is relaxing about goverment atrocities.  Man can get used to anything.  

Adaptibility.  On one hand, there are people adapting and thriving in new, difficult environments.  On the other, there are people becoming complacent about problems that once horrified; shrugging about distant violence, accepting with a blink the pictures of swollen stomached children that once at least stirred us enough to click the Donate Now button. 

It's a coping mechanism, a defense mechanism, an evolutionary reality, an unbelievable asset, problematic in addictions (as we adapt to our input and crave more drugs, alocohol, porn, food, power), and depressing when resultant in complacency.

Perhaps I'm using the wrong word.  Perhaps getting used to violence and thriving in a new environment shouldn't be accredited to the same source.  I don't know.

**

"I've grown accustomed to her face..."

I take things for granted.  I have to, in order to perform as a functional human.  If I were constantly thinking about how amazing my body is (wait for it), with the blood rushing, and the synapses sparking, and the nerves doing their signal sending spiel -- I wouldn't get anything done.

There's a Ted Talks about falling in love, and how the world would be a scary, awful place if the infatuation period were permanent.  Well, not scary and awful so much as unproductive.  Nobody would get anything done.  They would be writing crappy songs and driving miles to find rare flowers and spending all their money on trinkets and failing any exam or work problem that required mental energy.  OK, maybe not exactly like that...

In the same way that you have to release aspects of the puppy love phase, you also have to release constant appreciation of the wonder of the world (which you once had.  really.  watch a baby or a little kid for a while...or read Calvin and Hobbes).  The sun and the stars and the ocean and mountains and flowers and animals (animals!) and how it all fits so perfectly...you can't walk around thinking and talking about it all the time.  Socially, that doesn't work so well -- like Adam, the Asperger's title character of Adam, who strikes up intense and lengthly conversations about the Solar System as part of small talk. 

So instead of marveling over it, I live in it.  And, probably, if I were from some awful, dirty, frigid planet and came to ours, I would greatly appreciate Earth for...oh a couple months.  And then it would be routine. 

**

My point...Let's go back to the love analogy.  Sure, puppy love ends (supposedly lasts up to two years though?), but that doesn't mean you have to lose an overall sense of appreciation for the one you're with -- you don't lose the love, just the puppy.  (That didn't work...)  But sometimes it takes intentionality...rekindling the sense of awe at the beauty and craziness that we see, eat, breathe, touch...

Posted in: adaptability, changes, tcks